Love, is it powerful or not?
1. There is definately energy behind love.
2. That energy seems to be a temporary state.
3. It is one of my life goals to live a life full of this energy.
So today was definately classified as a good day. Grant it, I had a runny nose, 8 hours of classes, a conference about my poor behavior in Matrix Methods, and I rode my bike home in the freazing rain.
But why was it good, because of a woman. I recieved a call back that told me that yes, she would be interested in getting dinner some time. We haven't even figured out a day or a place or any details. But there is a slight chance will get dinner, and that made me super excited. I started dancing in my room afterwards. Seriously.
Now why would such a small thing as eating dinner with someone cause such uplifting energy? Now most people will call this a crush. Now I won't lie, I have had my fair of crushes in my life, so I won't deny they don't exist. But my question I am much more concerned with is, where does this intense energy come from? Why does the fact that I am eating dinner with someone make the entire world collapse into nothingness, leaving me into a much intimate surroundings?
I don't know.
Some things I know its not is:
Physical desire, I know how that feels too, the closeness of a potential kiss, but that is completely different than this energy.
Acceptance and caring. I have so many close friends that care about me a lot, who would eat dinner with me a lot. That said, whether this person wants to go to dinner or not with me is a huge deal. Why?
Control and Manipulation. I have also felt the "pleasure" of knowing others care for me. If anything I'm running away from that. Far, far away from that. Which I will leave for another blog.
So what is this "love" coming from? I think there's another reality out there. One where we're connected, where the individual is a part of the whole. We just tend to forget about it.
So every once and a while a certain person comes around and reminds of that connection, and I feel it. It surges in me. My life pulses with the world beat, and that is a wonderful feeling.
But there is a dark side to this of course. The feeling is so temporary. I was on a high when I found out I was going out to dinner. Then it went downhill when I had to do my RA duty again. Up, then down. And I'm pretty sure love is supposed to be pernament. So what is going on? It seems this crush situation is temporary, physical.
And perhaps this is man's struggle. To go from a constant state of incredible energy. Seriously, I am able to do some incredible things in this state, like ace tests I don't study for, imporv piano I never knew I could play, and recite random poetry off the top of my head. From that state, to a state of normalcy. Back and forth, continuously.
So its kind of grim, its wonderful, but its temporary. It is like a delta function in circuits. I strongly suggest you wikipedia that if you don't know what I'm talking about. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirac_delta_function.
But its what I'm persuing. I want to find a way to make this perfect state of mind always the case, not just for an hour. And I have a feeling I will need to do it on my own. It can't be based off of whether someone wants to eat dinner with me or not. But heh thats a start.
2. That energy seems to be a temporary state.
3. It is one of my life goals to live a life full of this energy.
So today was definately classified as a good day. Grant it, I had a runny nose, 8 hours of classes, a conference about my poor behavior in Matrix Methods, and I rode my bike home in the freazing rain.
But why was it good, because of a woman. I recieved a call back that told me that yes, she would be interested in getting dinner some time. We haven't even figured out a day or a place or any details. But there is a slight chance will get dinner, and that made me super excited. I started dancing in my room afterwards. Seriously.
Now why would such a small thing as eating dinner with someone cause such uplifting energy? Now most people will call this a crush. Now I won't lie, I have had my fair of crushes in my life, so I won't deny they don't exist. But my question I am much more concerned with is, where does this intense energy come from? Why does the fact that I am eating dinner with someone make the entire world collapse into nothingness, leaving me into a much intimate surroundings?
I don't know.
Some things I know its not is:
Physical desire, I know how that feels too, the closeness of a potential kiss, but that is completely different than this energy.
Acceptance and caring. I have so many close friends that care about me a lot, who would eat dinner with me a lot. That said, whether this person wants to go to dinner or not with me is a huge deal. Why?
Control and Manipulation. I have also felt the "pleasure" of knowing others care for me. If anything I'm running away from that. Far, far away from that. Which I will leave for another blog.
So what is this "love" coming from? I think there's another reality out there. One where we're connected, where the individual is a part of the whole. We just tend to forget about it.
So every once and a while a certain person comes around and reminds of that connection, and I feel it. It surges in me. My life pulses with the world beat, and that is a wonderful feeling.
But there is a dark side to this of course. The feeling is so temporary. I was on a high when I found out I was going out to dinner. Then it went downhill when I had to do my RA duty again. Up, then down. And I'm pretty sure love is supposed to be pernament. So what is going on? It seems this crush situation is temporary, physical.
And perhaps this is man's struggle. To go from a constant state of incredible energy. Seriously, I am able to do some incredible things in this state, like ace tests I don't study for, imporv piano I never knew I could play, and recite random poetry off the top of my head. From that state, to a state of normalcy. Back and forth, continuously.
So its kind of grim, its wonderful, but its temporary. It is like a delta function in circuits. I strongly suggest you wikipedia that if you don't know what I'm talking about. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirac_delta_function.
But its what I'm persuing. I want to find a way to make this perfect state of mind always the case, not just for an hour. And I have a feeling I will need to do it on my own. It can't be based off of whether someone wants to eat dinner with me or not. But heh thats a start.
I guess you should probably look at kinetic and potential energy transfer as well. for as happy as you get, there will probably be an equal and opposite force.
I like your philosophies (as opposed to your spelling). Next time you get to go out with a girl, really look at her and listen to her. Ask her questions and see if you can see her. Get to know her as well as you can until you can't stand it anymore. And if she can't stand it anymore that's ok...you won't feel sad, you'll feel closer to the world.
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5:23 PM